Confessions of a soul-split

My soul-split, from when I was seventeen, tells me that she first entered existence, and me, when I was nine. She says that she spent time preparing to be my spiritual caretaker, before taking her position as caretaker of my life on my 17^th birthday. Over the next year she took away everything I denied about myself until the minute before my 18^th birthday, where she moved into my unconscious self, so to stay, until she made contact with me when I was 43.

She says that all of those entities that we call soul-splits, or dissociative personality aspects, come long before they are needed to take care of their allotted time.

She also says that she used my personality discards to create her logical character form.

Not only that, but she says, when she was my caretaker, she acted as a go-between with my higher-self and my conscious awareness, and I see her sitting alongside my awareness, close to the thought inputs.

She also says they know we are going to shed aspects of self, and they were therefore created to collect them and look after them.

However, these splits do not only collect our own dissociated rejections of self, in fact, for most of them, that’s not their primary function. They help out with the business of running self. They may, for example, have the job of looking after a part of the brain, or a major organ. Certainly, all the early ones do exactly that.

So, for example, she first came into being when I was nine. She came into existence not because I had rejections that needed collecting. There was another aspect of self already doing that admirably. The reason she came into being, was to look after my self-regulation functions, specifically, my ability to dress, cook and clean. She’s my Cinderella self-aspect 😊

When she disappeared to shadow just before my 18^th birthday, she took with her a bunch of those caretaker functions, not all of them, as there are actually multiple aspects that look after this, earlier characters that look after the basics. She was the aspect of self that gave me my sense of fashion and style, my creativity in cooking, my ability to make things look right.

She told me that since many of these caretakers look after physical functions, when we send them into shadow through too many rejections of self, it can have real physical consequences. The longer we fight our inner shadows, the more damage to our physical self we can do, without knowing why.