[Barra]

Hello, this the only poem I have ever written, and this one is about a year and a half old. Enjoy!

—

 

All the pain I see,

All the pain I am,

I felt you so well,

But now I lay numb.

 
I still feel you so,

As I did for so many years,

But as I feel you now,

I’m unable to shed my tears.

 
I just lay numb,

I just lay drooling in pain

My muscles I can barely feel,

My emotions have turned hard as steel.

 
I now realize… that liquid that used to run down my eyes,

had actually made me feel so very alive.

and now it doesn’t seem to matter if I live or die.

I wish to hinder any future lives, and permanently close my eyes.

 

And so, I just lay numb, unable to feel my pain.

I stand motionless and drained in a sea of black rain.

My emotions I can barely feel.

My tears are no longer real.
————-
I fought so hard, against forces too big to conceive,

and now my energy is depleted, to where I can hardly believe,

that I cannot fight such a weak force within myself.

How frail I have become. I just lay numb, silently begging Nature for mercy.

 
I will not accept any human healing energy, because prejudice makes it obvious,

That I’m not worth the effort, if we listen to the audience.

I do not desire any outside healing energy at conception,

My reptilian bothers and sisters will be the only exception.

 

I thought that being ostracized, had given me the strength to rise,

But now I succumb to your prejudice, and I accept that I will always be despised.

I guess we all feel that I’m ready to die.

I’m just so tired, I’m just so numb. I don’t even have enough energy to try.

 

Nature has pressured me so,

and overestimated my strength.

Too many obstacles of too great a length.

The fight is too much, the challenge is too great.

 
I’m just so tired, the numbness only gets worse by the day.

I ask myself, “Should  my soul not exist, or should it stay?”

“If I was born again, would I breathe, or would I decay”

“Why has Nature condemned me, what price do I have to pay?”
————–
I thought the discovery of my Reptilian self,

Would help me not to feel so down,

But now I feel I’m incriminating my family,

Guilt and shame makes me feel I will drown.

 
I  genuinely love my Reptilian brothers and sisters,

And I truly desire to be surrounded by my kin,

But now I feel I’m only a blister,

Which only serves as a nuisance on my family’s skin.

 
I now lay numb, doubting my own merit,

And I lay as still as a tree.

Nature… have mercy on me,

Numbness… please set me free.

[Author]

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