10 – More insight on Recurring Negative Thoughts
There can be many sources of repeating negative thoughts, the type I would like to discuss here are those that seem to have their own life and are brought about by severe breakdowns in a person’s character, often these seem to be another person talking to you but within your own head, I group this kind of repetitive negative thought as what I call externalised projections of self. They can also be a more basic obsessional thought flow, usually very negative; hatred of others and or self, intense depressive thoughts, they can cause dramatic mood swings and often seem to pester the individual to distraction.
Sometimes these thought patterns announce themselves, telling the individual to kill themselves or other people, and badgering incessantly if they fail to comply. Other times they are more subtle and only come to light when a person discovers them as they work through their own mindful practices; As the mind becomes clear of ego chatter it becomes increasingly clear that some negative thoughts cannot simply be re-learnt or un-learnt and as the mind clears these thoughts become the dominant source of self- negative internal expression. As the individual works on them, rather than fading away, they become stronger, more obsessive and as I say sometimes taking on a life of their own.
These thoughts tend to be amongst the most harmful of thought processes, they can lead to a person harming self, others, behaving erratically, violently or being extremely depressed or anxious, they can lead to panic attacks and all manner of problems.
I should also say that early life trauma is not the only source of these negative thought processes, there is also a class of issue that is caused by what I call inherited karma which is actually based on the proposition that issues that were caused due to trauma in past lives can come back to haunt the individual and even if they had a wonderful childhood they can still come up against these issues, often no less traumatic in themselves. I will talk about inherited karma another time.
I have discussed previously the concept that rejections of self can turn into negative thought processes; early life trauma can cause an individual to suppress an aspect of self and this aspect can invert to become a negative set of thought processes.
These thoughts can run deeper than I have previously explained, they can develop into their own negative character and can present themselves to the individual as a hateful aspect of self, or even a part of the mind that is not recognised as self at all.
Anyone faced with these issues needs to investigate self in a systematic way. Clearing the mind to leave the persistent negative thoughts is the first step, we are now interrogating those persistent thoughts with a view to ascertaining if they are the result of deeper self trauma. Later I will discuss yet deeper causes of these issues; the onion needs to be peeled one layer at a time.
Dealing with these deeply negative thoughts can be very difficult, my first suggestion is that you seek professional advice. In my view, the best way to re-invert these negative aspects into their original positive traits is to give them expression, and often that expression can be dangerous and certainly not for public consumption. It is also very troubling and even tiring for the individual concerned and therefore finding the right professional healer will allow that expression to be contained within a safe structure.
A shaman faced with a person with such issues would say they are dealing with a fractured soul and indeed this term is a useful way of looking at it, since you can think of it as the past trauma as fracturing the mind/soul and creating several disparate entities within the mind, and at this stage we have brought them to light through mindful practices. Separated from the core self these aspects have taken on their own personalities or have become very strong thought patterns which have developed separately and unknown to the individual concerned until later in life when they have become apparent.
As I see it, there are two major tasks that need to be completed (1) heal the individual fracture, and (2) re-consolidate the whole. The process is sometimes known as a soul retrieval.
So an individual may not be dealing with a single negative thought form, they may be dealing with several, and each needs to be healed before the whole can be reconsolidated.
These can be very scary times for the individual seeking to heal self and I would emphasise again the value of seeking the right kind of professional help, you need to go somewhere that you will be safe in order to allow these healing thoughts to express themselves. The object is not to allow them to damage you or anyone else, but to slowly gain an expression that appeases the drama.
I’ve just mentioned “Drama”, this is exactly what a lot of these thought patterns present to you, an internal drama, which has a potential positive outcome and also a potential negative one, in my experience the negative side is brought about by trying to repress and suppress the drama that is being presented, finding a way to safely give it expression tends to diffuse it and allows the individual to come to terms with the thought form.
Drama’s figure a lot in many peoples quest for true self. When we go on meditative journeys we are playing out a drama, and many people find that drama’s feature highly in their quest for self knowledge/self healing. There will be negative drama’s and positive drama’s, aspects of self will want to kill you and to have you kill yourself or others or similar such dramatic plots will spring to mind, the trick is to be able to explore them without buying into them – to get to the bottom of the reason why this aspect wishes self to destruct and to engineer the salvation of self by affecting life changes that cause the negative thoughts to buy into the idea of trying to create a new you, one that will have a positive life and be true to the totality of self.
Each step of the way it is a drama that is playing out; self testing self with the highest of stakes but have confidence, this is a healing journey, yes it can be frightening and risky but the odds are loaded in your favour, you simply need to be true to self and to hold unconditional love in your heart and you will get through.
As an example, a person I once knew went on a meditative healing journey and discovered an aspect of self that wanted him dead. He asked why and the thought form said that it would set it free, that it was sick of this person, they were a failure and needed to die. During the session, the individual actually showed a willingness for suicide, in a loving manner, the concept was expressed that all aspects of self needed to be happy and if this dark aspect of self could not be happy then perhaps suicide was the best way. At this the drama took a new twist, the thought form/aspect of self/soul fracture said that it did not want the individual to die any longer, that it held pain from bad times in the past and said that if this pain could be expressed then it would be happy. So long as it would no longer be suppressed, then it desired the person to live, and really sought happiness.
Thus you can see how dangerous a loving commitment to negative aspects of self can be, but also how these dark thoughts can re-invert themselves through being interacted with and taken seriously, and through the individuals determination to create within self a loving environment for all aspects of self.
Coming back to my example, this was not the only negative thought form that this individual discovered, many more came to light and presented their own drama’s, which that individual worked through in the same loving way. At the end of the process all of these aspects of self agreed to re-integrate with self, and their voices fell silent. Several years later other than occasional Hello’s during meditation they no longer pester that individual.
That was a particular example where the suppressions of self invert and actually take on personalities, for other people they simply present as thoughts, deep seated and scary negative thoughts. The same concepts apply, the source pain needs to be gently coaxed out and expressed, seeking within is a powerful healing skill and hopefully you will see that this simple technique can be used to great advantage.
A note on False Memories
One of the strange aspects of healing at this level is that some of the memories of trauma that are brought to light during these sessions of self exploration can be seemingly false, so it is important to realise that often it is the emotional expression that is important, not necessarily the actual content.
It seems that sometimes our past trauma’s have resonance with traumas of other’s lives and they can get mixed up. This can be very confusing for the individual concerned and often people find themselves accusing people from their childhood of crimes that did not actually happen.
Some understanding is required here, this is simply a process that brings a person to the right expression of emotional pain, sometimes the details are critically important but sometimes they are less so, it is like ego creates a drama that allows the individual to be authentic and sincere, to allow the right expression to take place. Once that expression is over then it is important a forgive all involved and move on, there is no good in dwelling on bad behaviour of others, this is their problem, no longer yours.