Seeking Heroes and the Heroic Self

We are taught to look for heroes, for saviours, for external help. That is a big part of the problem. We end up projecting our need for change into a need for others to change, before we can change. This is why we become fans, and follow those heroes until we realise they are false Gods, and they did not help, and we become disillusioned. Yet, we often then go find another hero – repeating that same madness time after time.

There is also the wounded healer. The one who tried to love all of themselves, got so far, then decided that was far enough, and they would then help others for the rest of their lives, thinking it would help themselves. But they have only adopted a new drama, as new life position and they have a need to feel more “well”, than others, so they surround themselves with those they know to be “more sick”, their clients. This drama can be about subtle gaslighting intended to prevent growth of others beyond their internalised limits. And this can easily be a form of anxious attachment-based people pleasing (inverse narcissism).

The problem is that one’s self is much more than one imagined, and it is only known by the recovery of dissociated and rejected parts of self that sit in that nightmarish Jungian shadow world of the unconscious mind. Thar place of voices and negative thoughts, and all those things that can be so challenging to meet. Loving your own demons, yes, that can often be a challenge too far.

We all need a hero. But that hero, can only be oneself.